>Baker City Herald | Baker County Oregon's News Leader

Baker news NE Oregon Classifieds Web
web powered by Web Search Powered by Google

Follow BakerCityHerald.com

Baker City Herald print edition

view all Baker City Herald print publications »

The Baker City Herald is now online in a Replica E-edition form and publishes Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Current subscribers have full access to the E-edition.

View Paper

If you are not a current subscriber, subscribe today for immediate access.


Recent article comments

Powered by Disqus

Home arrow Opinion arrow Columns

A pleasant reminder that I might be the worst singer ever

I rated myself as a pretty fair singer right up to the indelible instant when I heard my naked voice, the protective filter of accompaniment by actual musicians stripped away.

For some years previous I had often amused myself, as I suspect most people do, by crooning along with the stereo while I was driving alone.

Which is about as realistic as playing Tiger Woods golf on a Wii.

Harmonizing with Lennon and McCartney, suffice it to say, ranks on the difficulty scale right beside bisecting the fairway with a 300-yard drive.

(Although Tiger isn’t staying on the short grass all that often these days, either.)

One day, for some reason I’ve forgotten (although a reason no doubt spawned by the same hormone that leads high school students to use Bunson burners for unorthodox purposes), I decided to try what you might call an experiment in a cappella.

What resulted was a sort of auditory shock treatment that cured my naivete, as regards my lyrical ability, instantly and irrevocably.

While I was belting out the chorus to some ’80s anthem — I think it was Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian,” although possibly it was “The Final Countdown” by Europe — I punched the radio’s “off” button.

Coming up with a fresh reason for walking across Oregon

Ted Carlin intends to walk clear across Oregon this month, and I’m jealous.

He also plans to spend a couple nights at the Sky Hook motel in Mitchell.

This guy is really trying to goad me.

Not intentionally, perhaps, seeing as how we’ve not met.

But I don’t care about that.

The Sky Hook is my favorite motel.

At least it’s my favorite motel that I’ve never stayed in.

There is, most obviously, that name.

I’ve driven past the Sky Hook probably half a hundred times, and whenever I see that neon sign I think briefly of Kareem, flicking the ball softly, just high enough to foil Walton or Gilmore or Lanier.


The compulsion that comes with owning an off-road rig

The thing about owning a four-wheel drive rig is that without even trying you can get into situations that you would avoid like the hantavirus if you owned a lesser vehicle.

Many of these situations, sadly, involve a significant risk of multiple fractures.

The current crop of off-roaders, I’ll concede, is somewhat less malignant in certain ways than its predecessors.

Computer-controlled nannies such as traction control and anti-lock brakes can extricate clumsy drivers from predicaments that would have left their forebears high-centered on somebody’s front porch.

As a result, four-by-fours, if they can’t actually defy physics, can temporarily stun it with a sharp blow to the chin.

They can also, to put the matter in less pleasant terms, get you into a mess which no stack of microprocessors can make right.

Boy Scouts strive to protect kids

As I meet with people throughout our council, I have been asked why I, or we, did not respond to the editorials and stories about the recent verdict against the Boy Scouts in Portland.

At the court’s direction, we have been, and continue to be, restricted in communications about this case. Because this matter continues, the Judge has asked that the Boy Scouts of America refrain from comment on the specific allegations.

However, I must comment and respond to the mischaracterization in a recent editorial (in a different publication) that we are not concerned about protecting youth.

As a movement Scouting does care very deeply about the safety of our members and all youth, and always has. Abuse is a huge problem in our society. According to Childhelp.org there are 3.2 million reported abuse cases in the United States every year. We are one of only a few agencies that has a rigorous, nationwide system of background checks of every registered volunteer leader and employee — conducted through an independent service — which attempts to keep out of the program those individuals who should not be leading youth.

A bill that saves money and energy

The unemployment rate in Oregon has been in double digits for the past year, but it seems as though many politicians in the nation’s capital are focused on creating frustration and gridlock instead of new jobs.

Bipartisanship isn’t completely dead, though. Recently, I joined with members of both parties, including Republican Senators Richard Lugar of Indiana and Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, to introduce a bill that will both create jobs and lower monthly energy bills for families and businesses.

It’s called the Rural Energy Savings Program and it works like this: Rural electric co-ops like the Oregon Trail Electric Consumers Co-op in Baker City will administer low-cost loans to help families and business owners afford the up-front costs of energy efficient renovations. The families and business owners will see their energy bills go down, and can pay off the loan out of these savings. In fact, they can pay it back with a charge on their electric bill, so they don’t even have to pay an additional bill.

Sometimes the beaten path is the better path for the land

There’s a heap of roads in Eastern Oregon and I’ve gone the wrong way on quite a lot of them.

And sometimes even when I take the right turn I come to a bad end. Usually rocks are involved. Sometimes there are snowdrifts. Always there is profanity.

I have at any rate become accustomed to running into trouble — literally, in many cases — when I set out to cover great distances by motor vehicle without ever putting a tire on pavement.

Which goal I continue to pursue, afflicted as I am with a sort of cheerful stupidity, despite my frequent flirtations with disaster.

I strive to prepare properly for these outings. For instance I own enough maps to wallpaper my whole house. (I have in fact experimented along those lines, but my decorative efforts were rebuffed, and resoundingly, despite their obvious educational value.)

But though I grasp the basic idea behind a map, I am helpless to decipher, with any reliability, the overwhelmingly detailed guides the BLM puts out for the millions of acres it manages in the southeastern part of the state.

Honoring veterans; and breaking a vow against litigation

It seems to me not so long ago when most every Second World War veteran I met looked hale enough to still wield an M-1 Garand or drive a Sherman tank.

But that era, however near it might feel to me, has passed us all by, inevitable as the tides.

There is nothing to be gained from pretending otherwise.

Although I’ll bet some of those aging fellows still get their buck.

The math is simple, and blunt.

The war ended in August 1945.

Even allowing for those soldiers and sailors who turned the military’s flank, as regards the minimum enlistment age, it’s unlikely that any veteran is younger than 82.

Which means even those men, who probably took up a weapon before they ever handled a shaving razor, have already been defying the actuarial tables for all of half a decade.

Where's Manson? Political discourse can always use a new villain

I keep waiting for Charles Manson to get involved in politics.

Yes, the old lunatic is still around, although he doesn’t make the news much these days.

Manson is 75 now. And judging by the most recent photograph I’ve seen, he probably has to strain to achieve anything like the wild-eyed glare that earned him such infamy during his murderous heyday, when even a president, without provocation, once mentioned him during a press conference.

Yet the Manson mystique — his brand name, if you will — could still carry a certain cachet, I think, if only Charlie would cast his lot with one side or other of the political spectrum.

As a villain, Manson has few peers among the living or the dead.

And villains have rarely been as valuable, when deployed as political pawns, as they are today.

Hitler, for instance (who was, by the way, Manson’s favorite world leader), is launched so often as a propaganda missile that it’s hard for somebody who is at all deficient in partisan zealotry to figure out just whose side the fuehrer was actually on.

Or would be on were he still alive.


Feds fail to find flaws in our water, but they keep looking

Every now and again, while I’m standing in my kitchen and chugging a glass of cold tapwater, I think about the journey these refreshing ounces had recently made through many miles of concrete pipe.

I wonder whether I’m quenching my thirst with the bounty of Mill Creek or of Goodrich.

Probably this is a riddle which has no solution.

Baker City diverts water from fully a dozen streams and springs, and it all goes into a pipeline that spans more than a dozen miles between the mountains and town. I suppose that by the time the liquid flows from my faucets it’s been mixed up as thoroughly as a well-made martini.

(And as mixed up as I would be if I had just knocked back a couple of those.)

It seems to me rather wonderful that when I wish to see where my water comes from I need only look west at the forested slopes of the Elkhorns.

Global warming: I sure hope the pika pulls through

Were I asked to name my favorite animal — and I’m still waiting patiently for that particular query — the list of candidates would certainly include the American pika.

Whether this diminutive mammal — it’s about the size of a squirrel, only more adorable — would win, I can’t say.

I’m rather partial to the mountain goat, to name one competitor.

Also I have long harbored a peculiar fondness for the fisher.

I say peculiar because I’ve never actually seen a fisher, which is a sort of weasel, in the wild. It might well be that if I ever do see one I will come away feeling rather cheated, like a man who is told again and again about a certain charming woman and then, when he finally meets her, is chagrined to realize she has the personality of a bobcat that has one foot caught in a trap.

And she has bad teeth besides.

Of course it’s conceivable that I wouldn’t impress a fisher, either, were one to ever catch sight of me.

Not that I care what a fisher thinks.

<< Start < Previous page 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 Next page > End >>

Results 301 - 315 of 418
Local / Sports / Business / State / National / Obituaries / Submit News
Editorials / Letters / Columns / Submit a letter
Outdoors / Go Magazine / Milestones / Living Well
Baker Herald
About / Contact / Commercial Printing / Subscriptions / Terms of Use / Privacy Policy / Commenting Policy / Site Map
Also Online
Photo Reprints / Videos / Local Business Links / Community Links / Weather and Road Cams / RSS Feed

Follow Baker City Herald headlines on Follow Baker City Herald headlines on Twitter

© Copyright 2001 - 2015 Western Communications, Inc. All rights reserved. By Using this site you agree to our Terms of Use