Tired of adjective-toting pundits

By JASON JACOBY, Baker City Herald September 15, 2008 04:48 pm

Could I please read one story about Sarah Palin that does not describe her as either “gun-toting” or a “hockey mom” or both?

Thank you in advance, anonymous writer who eschews inane adjectives.

I mean adjectives.

Palin’s been all over TV these past two weeks and I’ve yet to see the butt of a revolver protruding from her jacket, nor the telltale bulge of a semi-automatic tucked into a shoulder holster.

Anyway it’s not as though reporters and pundits need to plunder a thesaurus to uncover descriptions of Palin that are more relevant than which weapons and which sports she prefers.

I don’t much care that she hunts, or that her kids play hockey.

Proficiency with firearms is not, after all, a prerequisite for the office she is seeking.

Not after Dick Cheney’s tenure, it’s not.

Besides which I doubt Palin will have any occasion to stalk moose on the grounds of the Naval Observatory should she move in next year.

And if one did wander onto the place she could just tell the Secret Service to bag it for her.

I realize that the media’s emphasis on Palin’s interest in guns and pucks came about, at least in part, because the candidate has given about as many interviews as J.D. Salinger.

Still, it seems to me that the coverage of Palin epitomizes the media’s affinity for affixing easy and trite labels to celebrities, whether they’re entertainers or politicians.

I’m not sure, though, that the labels pinned on Palin, aside from their dubious relevance in this campaign, are even accurate.

She has hunted, but does that mean she’s a gun-toter? How often, exactly, does a person have to tote a gun to earn that moniker? Pretty often, I think.

I own a few guns but I hardly ever carry them and so would bristle at being described as a gun-toter.

I am, I’ll concede, a wallet-toter, except when I leave it on the kitchen counter, and also an eyedrop-toter (my contact lenses are prone to drying).

If the media insist on perpetuating Palin’s persona, I’ll suggest a compromise: Start paying attention to Joe Biden and figure out what he totes.

So Hurricane Ike fouled up some football schedules.

Big deal.

Of far greater consequence is a collegiate sporting event which — and keep your fingers crossed on this — should not be affected by the storm.

The National Collegiate Bass Fishing Championship.

But you already knew that was scheduled for Thursday, Friday and Saturday on Lake Lewisville, Texas, right?

You also know, I’m sure, the best thing about the bass-fishing tourney.

No BCS rankings.


Jayson Jacoby is the editor of the Baker City Herald.